New Year's Expectations

As like many today I'm thinking of what I want the new year to bring or better yet what I want to accomplish this next year. This is the first time in a long time that I'm not sitting down to decide what races I'm going to do although I already have at least two planned. One marathon in April and one in November. What happens in between is anybody's guess. I really have no expectations on that front. I might do a triathlon or two and I would like to do a few trail races too. But I'm not thinking too much of that right now.

My word for the year I think is expectations. Wikipedia says this: In the case of uncertainty, expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centered on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order. (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expectation_(epistemic).
This is something I need to work on because my expectations often give rise to the emotion of disappointment. And then I have to deal with that aftermath. No, I set my expectations very high then when they don't workout the way I have planned them to or in the TIME I want them to I hit the bottom. Sometimes I can recover but lately I have not been able to recover as well. And I have dwelled at this bottomless pit for some time now. But I'm climbing out.

Here are my big expectations, and not in any particular order:
~Lose weight (50 pounds). I have let myself become out of control. Or as I say, my give a dam is busted. I'm not sure why. I used to care a lot but because I have the "I don't care" attitude I have gained almost all my weight back. I hardly workout and I definitely don't watch what I eat. And because I lean more towards the addicting personality I have a hard time doing some things in moderation, including cutting down or back on certain "bad" foods. So I think I have to cut them out all together, at least for a while.
~Reduce debt/pay off debt/save: I grouped these together because it really goes hand in hand. Several things will be paid off this year including our car. But I still have a huge student loan and we have no savings. I want to develop a budget and stick to it. I want to do a lot to the house, I want to take a nice family vacation, etc, etc. But most of all I want peace of mind that we have everything paid on time, we have savings, we can tithe and I don't wake up at night trying to figure out how to rob peter to pay paul.
~Daily devotion: This is something I've never been good at. I have every opportunity to get up in the morning with Jim and use that quiet time yet I don't. Of course I've said several, several times that I would get up when he does and I don't. I know if I don't devote the time in the morning, I probably won't any other time in the day.
~Have a weekly date night with hubby: I really enjoying going out and it just be us. Even going to shoot pool or go get a glass of wine somewhere. Of course this usually happens on Friday nights and he works on Saturdays so our nights can't be too late.
~Family game night and family movie night: most likely to be Sunday and Monday nights. I want Sunday to be an unplug day where none of us get online, text, email or watch TV although I think the latter is probably pushing it. I would say no video games but we could play the xbox as a family. I just want it to be us doing something as a family. Of course this is our only day to get things done to the house as well so we will have to see how that goes.
~Don't over schedule......I'm getting better at this. But with two kids in sports as well as my own activities sometimes it feels like we are over scheduled. But if we utilize those days were we don't have anything "schduled" and use that time as a family then I think it will help.
~Be better organized and get things done....I'm good at some and not so good at others. I sometimes suck in the Mommy department, something I need to work on.
~Work on the house....I think we if choose one thing to work on until it is done things will start to get done.
~Take a vacation.......I would love for Jim to make it back to Pennsylvania to see his family. And I would love to go to Colorado again...there are several places I would love to go.
~Get rid of excess things....not buy too many new things, try to reuse, re-purpose and swap. Thrift store, craiglist, word of mouth shopping.....we waste a lot as a family. We eat out way too much. We buy too much food at the store and don't eat it. This also can go hand in hand with the above saving and budget.
~Work with the backpack program at Elliott's school and maybe a food pantry at the church.
~Develop my blog more.....blog more.....I have a lot of good ideas and I like to share and talk so what better way than to do this.

Well that seems like a mighty list. I'm sure I have other thoughts and I should write them down but then I have more to write about then don't I.

25 days of high expectations

It’s the most wonderful time of the year……or that’s what the song says. I’m sitting here listening to Christmas music trying to figure out why I have this “meh” feeling? Is it because we are so busy this weekend that it seems over-whelming? Is it because I’m so busy at work we can’t see the end of the tunnel? Is it because my expectations for everything seem to be so high and so many things so unreachable or “not just right” that it is just disappointing and so then I go “why bother”? Hmm, I’m not sure what it is. But I know I want it to be the most wonderful time of the year.

I want my children as well as myself to remember what the holiday is all about. I don’t want it to be all about how many or what they receive for Christmas. I want it to be about Jesus, about giving to others, about family. So this year I told Emily that I was going to do the four gift Christmas. I read about the idea last year but in my heart I wasn’t prepared to do it and I even find myself leery about it this year but I also know that if we don’t start making changes now it will just be harder. The four gift idea: something you want, something you need, something to read, something to wear. I was even going to do a bonus and add something to watch.

I want Monday's to be movie Monday's were we watch a Christmas movie. Even if it is only an hour at least we will all be in the same room. I want wrapped Christmas stories to be unwrapped and read every night, I want daily advent time. I want, I want.....or wish or expect or dream. Doesn't it sound beautiful and wonderful. When in reality I know what it might turn out to be.......

I've been going back and forth, wavering on my expectations because I don't want the kids to be upset but I also know in my heart what I want, what I expect. May be I shouldn't, may be I should just let it go, but I am so tired of society making to so very difficult to raise a good valued family. Parenting is hard enough, and no I'm no giving up just because society is making it difficult and yes I know it is my job to decide what to do or not to do, or to subject my children to, so yes I will continue on my quest. I know there are some things you just can't change. And I know that even if their is some disappointment or my eldest might think I'm totally off my rocker, it might just plant a seed somewhere in the midst of their soul and if somewhere down the line it grows and blossoms into more then I have done my job.

It also helped that I ran across this blog today and it makes total sense. When You Need To Lower Your Expectations This Christmas So I will pray for patience and open the hearts of my family. So before we are off to the soccer marathon weekend, I'm going to put out some family traditions and get this party started!