Feeling like a Yo-Yo

What do you want in life? At forty is it too late for me to ask this? Is it too late to change or make a change? If you ask some the answer would be yes. But why? Because you as an individual are scared, it’s risky, I’m comfortable, I have familiarity and the all time excuse, what if I fail or I’m no good? Why as a society have we put so much pressure on every single thing we do? We are designed to be responsible, make money even if it means we are stuck in a place that we are so unhappy at that it takes all the will power we have to just get out of bed in the morning. I’m not saying this is where I’m out, but I feel misplaced. I feel an itching to do something different. What could this mean? A job change, a hobby change, is it a total life change? What can I do about it?

No matter what is going on in my life, I always come back to lifting/health/nutrition. I remember when I first got into lifting. Like many I had gained weight, one of the bad parts of this though was I was in the military at the time and if I didn’t pass the physical fitness test (weigh in, etc) then I could be put on a mandatory weight loss/PT program. Not fun. Plus it was a black mark in your personal file. Anyway, I had come back from Germany to visit my family and really didn’t realize how much weight I had actually put on. I’m not real sure why I had gained weight. May be being apart from my family for the first time in 21 years, may be being in an unhealthy relationship, may be the job I was doing. There was probably a whole list and now after 20 years I can’t remember. I started off my doing step aerobics 2-3 times a week with a great group of women. I then hired the instructor to be my personal trainer and the rest is history. After losing all the weight becoming toned and looking hot, I then turned toward body building. I’m lucky in that I can gain muscle; I have muscles to begin with. So I dabbled in a body building contest. Now that I look back, I see the errors I made preparing for the competition and may be one day I would do another one. After that I went onto power lifting. Loved it! The point is I love lifting! I love all aspects of weight lifting, I love pushing past my limits, seeing how heavy I can go. To me, lifting = power and who doesn’t love power?

Since being out of the military, the last 16 years, I have not only yo-yoed on my diets, weight loss and physical challenges, I’ve yo-yoed in my life. Only recently have I seen the success in my life, not the mistakes and sometimes failures. Working on myself worth every day. I have completed my college degree and got my masters. I have a wonderful husband and two terrific kids. I’ve changed jobs a few times and I can say there are many aspects of each job I’ve had that I immensely enjoyed. What I like the most is helping people, project management, training, research and documentation. So how can I package all this together to something that I love doing every day? I will find something……or better yet something will come my way, I just know it.