Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Feeling like a Yo-Yo

What do you want in life? At forty is it too late for me to ask this? Is it too late to change or make a change? If you ask some the answer would be yes. But why? Because you as an individual are scared, it’s risky, I’m comfortable, I have familiarity and the all time excuse, what if I fail or I’m no good? Why as a society have we put so much pressure on every single thing we do? We are designed to be responsible, make money even if it means we are stuck in a place that we are so unhappy at that it takes all the will power we have to just get out of bed in the morning. I’m not saying this is where I’m out, but I feel misplaced. I feel an itching to do something different. What could this mean? A job change, a hobby change, is it a total life change? What can I do about it?
No matter what is going on in my life, I always come back to lifting/health/nutrition. I remember when I first got into lifting. Like many I had gained weight, one of the bad parts of this though was I was in the military at the time and if I didn’t pass the physical fitness test (weigh in, etc) then I could be put on a mandatory weight loss/PT program. Not fun. Plus it was a black mark in your personal file. Anyway, I had come back from Germany to visit my family and really didn’t realize how much weight I had actually put on. I’m not real sure why I had gained weight. May be being apart from my family for the first time in 21 years, may be being in an unhealthy relationship, may be the job I was doing. There was probably a whole list and now after 20 years I can’t remember. I started off my doing step aerobics 2-3 times a week with a great group of women. I then hired the instructor to be my personal trainer and the rest is history. After losing all the weight becoming toned and looking hot, I then turned toward body building. I’m lucky in that I can gain muscle; I have muscles to begin with. So I dabbled in a body building contest. Now that I look back, I see the errors I made preparing for the competition and may be one day I would do another one. After that I went onto power lifting. Loved it! The point is I love lifting! I love all aspects of weight lifting, I love pushing past my limits, seeing how heavy I can go. To me, lifting = power and who doesn’t love power?
Since being out of the military, the last 16 years, I have not only yo-yoed on my diets, weight loss and physical challenges, I’ve yo-yoed in my life. Only recently have I seen the success in my life, not the mistakes and sometimes failures. Working on myself worth every day. I have completed my college degree and got my masters. I have a wonderful husband and two terrific kids. I’ve changed jobs a few times and I can say there are many aspects of each job I’ve had that I immensely enjoyed. What I like the most is helping people, project management, training, research and documentation. So how can I package all this together to something that I love doing every day? I will find something……or better yet something will come my way, I just know it.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Short and Sweat Today

Short and sweet, headed to the gym! So today has been an awesome day and I really can’t pinpoint why. I woke up dragging as usual. I’m not sure what is going on there. But as the morning progressed my spirits lifted. I mean I feel good, look good plus my jeans aren’t skin tight any more. Who cares what the scale says my clothes are fitting looser. I’m bound and determined not to have the scale define me. The numbers don’t reflect who I am.

Oh and I decided real quick this afternoon to join a weight loss challenge here in the city. So I live right out of Oklahoma City in a town called Edmond. Anyway, there is a challenge called OKC Weight Loss Challenge http://okcweightlosschallenge.com/ . You weigh in twice, initially and end. You have 12 weeks. Some awesome prizes! So who cares that I might not have a chance because of the number of people that could potentially sign up, I’m up for a good challenge. Besides it keeps me focused and on track right? Plus I like the fact that I weigh in at the Y, which is a second home to me some days.

My journey is always in continuous forward motion. I think I have a good plan in place as I move forward, tweaking as needed. I might make a visualization board this weekend to stick in my bathroom to help with motivation. I’m also going to work on my eating plan just a little bit more. I did great this week but I felt myself slip back into an all too familiar position when things got a little stressful and I wasn’t feeling good. Need to work on those triggers.