Monday, September 30, 2013
Fall is my favorite time of the year, probably because my birthday is the first day of fall. But seriously, who doesn’t like the crispness of a morning breeze, the trees turning orange and red, even the air just smells like fall right? You know I’m right. And of course who can’t forget football. We pay attention just a little bit more this year since Emily is in marching band. However I don’t think we will convert hubby. Oh well. We are preparing for our fall camping trip. Just 8 days away, geez, already? And this is the first time I have ever heard my hubby said he is actually looking forward to it. Now this isn’t to say he isn’t in full on get everything ready and prepare mode. But I’m used to that. Don’t tell him, but I’m actually looking forward to it too. Four nights and almost 5 days of being away from home, being away from a schedule, being away from most electronics, just being away with the family, very much needed break. With the exception of one year, we have done something for fall break the last 5 years. Tent camping, RV camping, trailer camping, and a cabin. But this year instead of worrying about borrowing someone’s trailer and the expense we have with that, we thought we would just tent camp. The area we are going is beautiful no matter what time of year but I’m hoping the leaves are beginning to change. We are starting to see cool mornings and rain….two things that are needed so we shall see. We haven’t spent time in this area since Elliott was 2 so I’m looking forward to hiking this time around. Or just sitting and reading. That is a treat in itself. Tomorrow marks the first day of a challenge I’m going to do called “31 Days”. Of course this is going to be a challenge next week. Since I don’t have to do long entries, I might either try to schedule some to post or just do a picture post of things we are doing…… Anyway, we are supposed to pick a category to link to. Family Life, Inspirational & Faith, Health, Wellness & Food, Personal Endeavors or Too Awesome to Categorize are some of what I’m looking at hooking up to. I’m thinking of a title of 31 days of opportunities or 31 days of improvement. I’m thinking of topics of change, ways to improve my life as well as my family’s life. So more than likely I will do Personal Endeavors or Too Awesome to Categorize. This is a challenge but one I think will open doors, or at least just a journal of rambling thoughts. You never know what they may lead to. So I hope you will join me as this new season begins……
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Show up as you are not as you think you ought to be…I read this somewhere I don’t remember. So I apologize if you are reading this and I “borrowed” it from you. How many of us struggle with this concept? The just “ifs” in life. “If I had done so and so then I would be a” or “if I would just lose weight I could”…..you know who you are. I don’t think there is a single person out there that hasn’t said this before. Hmm, raise your hand I know you have! I know I sure have almost each and every day. Well may be not every day but probably pretty close to that. Especially right now as I struggle with weight gain again. “If I would just lose “x” pounds then I would be so happy”. Would I? I’m not so sure any more. I mean what would I gain? My hubby loves me for who I am now, today at this very moment. Believe me, I ask him ALL THE TIME! And his answer “more than you know”. That’s probably true. My kids love their Mama unconditionally. My God loves me, this I know. Side note, that song will be in your head all day now, you’re welcome. My real friends except me for who I am and those that judge me, well I don’t need that criticism in my life so who cares. But I do, you know I do. I am who I am at this moment. Aren’t we supposed to live in the moment? At least I try to, I want to. I remember when I was dating this guy back in high school. We dated for like 2 years or so. Anyway, I remember on a walk one night he said, “I think you are a homely beautiful”. What exactly does that mean? I don’t know why I remember that. By definition homely means lacking in physical attractiveness; not beautiful; unattractive: a homely child; not having elegance, refinement, or cultivation; proper or suited to the home or to ordinary domestic life; plain; unpretentious: homely food: commonly seen or known (www.dictionary.com). Geez, what a terrific guy right? Anyway, I don’t think he quite meant it that way. May be I’m not the most elegant, refined, cultivated woman out there in this highly cultivated overrated world but I beat I have my strengths that make me beautiful in other ways right? Why does our culture raise us makes us believe that we have to have the outward appearance to be beautiful. Why do people look at you and judge you simply on your outward appearance without knowing one iota about you? Such a struggle for so many. But I’m tired of living by current society standards. You know there are standards. You have to live in a certain place, have a certain job, etc etc…..If you weren’t popular in high school chances are you won’t be popular in life now. Right? I call shenanigans on that. I might not live in an expensive house by hearing last night from a teenage girl that “my home was welcoming” made all the hard work that we have put into it worth it. I am who I am at this moment but it doesn’t mean I can’t change, I can’t improve. I always say there is room to improve. This philosophy can be applied to anything in life. I am changing, improving, in some areas more than others. And I will strive to continue to improve but I want it to be God’s doing not society. I want to live by his standards not those that society deems. And that my friends is a challenge on itself.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Today I feel like a scattered brain fool. I cannot focus on anything at work. I don’t even want to be here. I want to be home taking care of my home. I just feel like I’m not supposed to be where I am right now. Some would say I’m crazy because I have a wonderful job and yes I do. There are a lot of “pros” to my job and I should be thankful that I do have income in a world that so many don’t. Be lately there has just been such a nagging feeling that won’t leave. I don’t dread to come to work but I’m not the same as I once was here. May be it’s that time of year I don’t know. I can’t believe we are already half way through September. Geez! Would the world please slow down. Then again maybe that’s the lesson that I need to slow down, that our family needs to slow down. Life seems so overwhelming at times. There is so much to do so little time, so many things that I have an interest in. How do you or can you fit it all in? Some would say, why don’t you prioritize? What is important to you? Things of importance seem to change like the seasons don’t you think? I used to think that the most important thing was my running and working out. Although it is important and it has fallen to the way side, I just don’t have the passion to get out there and run a marathon (done that twice) or even run for long distances at all. Most of my friends are training for their next race, signing up for the next race, making plans for that next race. And yet I find myself going, eh. All of working out has fallen to the way side. And it has been at the expense of my weight. I’ve gained. I’m back over 200 pounds, not much over but enough were I don’t like it. This needs to change. But where do I fit it in? Our family life seems to revolve around our kids, more like Emily. I couldn’t image if Elliott would have played sports. Uuuweee buddy. I need to prioritize working out for me though. It makes me feel better. Here are things that are important to me or things that have been on my mind. The first three are in priority order the remaining are just there for the most part. 1. Developing my relationship with Jesus 2. My husband 3. My kids 4. Working on the House 5. Living Simply 6. Reading 7. Other Hobbies 8. Friends 9. Working Out 10. Volunteering Why do I have such a sense of wanting to be home? Why can’t I concentrate on work? UGH!
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Time, you know as it runs through the hour glass so is the days of our lives……yep. In a nutshell, time has gotten away from me. I have blinked and it is now almost the middle of September. Where did it go? Whew, my head is in a tailspin trying to remember what all has gone on since the last time I was on. Okay so I posted at the beginning of August but haven’t since then and prior to that it was March so yea you can add inconsistent to it too. Anyways, school has started again. Another season of change too, we have a high schooler! I still can’t believe it especially when I was sitting the in football stadium last Friday night watching her march onto the field with the field. It doesn’t seem possible that just yesterday she was running around following her Daddy with her bottle hanging out of her mouth, crawling under the truck with him to help. And now, well she is turning into a beautiful young lady. Of course we can’t forget the little bat now a second grader. Somewhere over the summer he transitioned from a little baby to a boy. Stinkiness aside, he truly is a character. His melt downs break my heart especially since he is realizing more and more that he just thinks and behaves differently than most, some good and some bad, but he knows. And I don’t always know what to say to him. But we are getting new help and I think over time we will be able to help him with the tools he needs to be successful. And with the season comes a new thought on my heart. Not really heaviness or a burden, just one of those nagging thoughts that consume you. Makes you research everything there is, try to find every possible solution. You try to ignore it at the start then it just keeps creeping in and there in front of you are those God times that remind you that hey, you might want to pay attention. Well it is happening, and dare I say once again. Off and on for the past several years, since 2009 to be exact, I have felt the need to simplify my life, everything. I’ve made an attempt here and there but not much as stuck. I’m not even really sure where this has all come about again. But I feel the need to pay off debt, save money, live simpler and most important switch “jobs”. I work full time at the present and I feel a longing to be home instead. Now some of you would go, but your kids are both in school. Yep, I know this. And it has been suggested to go down to part time. I want to be there when they are done with their day, not two hours later. I want to take care of my house properly. I just want to take care of my family better. Life is too short. And I think Emily needs me more now than she has in a long time. She confirmed that the other night when asked what she thought about me staying home. Her response “I would like it.” And Elliott, he is a homebody so I’m sure he would love it. With that spawns another thought which is to homeschool him. Especially if I don’t get the results from school that I want. But that is a whole another subject. So with all of these thoughts some that I’ve ignored or half attempted comes the start of a plan. To either one quit all together or go part time. Of course I would love to work part time, it would help financially but there are the summers to think about. I love to have goals, rather they seem loft or not. My goal is give myself until May to continue working and make the decision then. Of course I will know earlier than that if I can out right quit but I give myself to May. So what does that mean? Tune in to find out………