Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Scattered Brain Fool

Today I feel like a scattered brain fool. I cannot focus on anything at work. I don’t even want to be here. I want to be home taking care of my home. I just feel like I’m not supposed to be where I am right now. Some would say I’m crazy because I have a wonderful job and yes I do. There are a lot of “pros” to my job and I should be thankful that I do have income in a world that so many don’t. Be lately there has just been such a nagging feeling that won’t leave. I don’t dread to come to work but I’m not the same as I once was here. May be it’s that time of year I don’t know. I can’t believe we are already half way through September. Geez! Would the world please slow down. Then again maybe that’s the lesson that I need to slow down, that our family needs to slow down. Life seems so overwhelming at times. There is so much to do so little time, so many things that I have an interest in. How do you or can you fit it all in? Some would say, why don’t you prioritize? What is important to you? Things of importance seem to change like the seasons don’t you think? I used to think that the most important thing was my running and working out. Although it is important and it has fallen to the way side, I just don’t have the passion to get out there and run a marathon (done that twice) or even run for long distances at all. Most of my friends are training for their next race, signing up for the next race, making plans for that next race. And yet I find myself going, eh. All of working out has fallen to the way side. And it has been at the expense of my weight. I’ve gained. I’m back over 200 pounds, not much over but enough were I don’t like it. This needs to change. But where do I fit it in? Our family life seems to revolve around our kids, more like Emily. I couldn’t image if Elliott would have played sports. Uuuweee buddy. I need to prioritize working out for me though. It makes me feel better. Here are things that are important to me or things that have been on my mind. The first three are in priority order the remaining are just there for the most part. 1. Developing my relationship with Jesus 2. My husband 3. My kids 4. Working on the House 5. Living Simply 6. Reading 7. Other Hobbies 8. Friends 9. Working Out 10. Volunteering Why do I have such a sense of wanting to be home? Why can’t I concentrate on work? UGH!

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