Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Here I go again.....

Here I go again…..although unlike the song, I’m not on my own. Ha, love me some Whitesnake. No, I have God on my side, a wonderful hubby and I’m sure lots of other people I can count on. I find myself in the same spot that I found myself in every stinking year. I’ve gained weight, letting myself go to a place I never thought I would go to again. And in fact if you look at my weight loss app, you will see that almost exactly 11 months ago, I was at my current weight. My weight loss chart looks like the elevation chart of the Rocky Mountains. Yes and I do exaggerate at times too, but that is how I feel.
On my run this morning with a friend, we were talking about the Lent season and I found myself again in the same spot I was last year. All things controlling… controls me and money does. It saddens me to say that. I don’t want to be controlled by those two things. Both can bring me down in a heartbeat. Both can make me extremely sad but neither can make me happy. Now don’t get me wrong. I love me some good food, especially anything Mexican or Italian. I love to be able to pay the bills, buy things, etc but more often than not, it worries and/or stresses me out. There never seems to be enough of either to comfort me. Hence, moving towards the comfort of God rather than food or monetary things…..
Self-control is what it’s all about. I don’t nor have I ever done drugs. Don’t have the desire. Now I have dabbled in alcohol from time to time, more when I was younger than now, but again the aftermath hurts too much if you know what I mean. So I use self-control. Why then can’t I use self-control over food? Time and time again, I can see example after example of how not utilizing self-control can hurt, destroy or even in some cases kill when it comes to food. So why is it so hard……
The disciplines you establish today will determine your success tomorrow. But it takes more than just willpower for lasting self-control. It takes a power greater than yourself. Think about this promise from the Bible: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

Obviously I need to empower myself with God's power. May be I'm fearful of where I will be when I lose the weight. Five years ago I wasn't in a good place and didn't insert myself in a good place. I almost lost everything, in fact I did lose myself. I don't want that to happen again and I know it won't, but ah the past is powerful.

So here is to the determination of being empowered by God......not by the past, worries or doubt. Here I go again but this time not on my own.......

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