Should haves......

“Understand this my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” James1:19

I wish I had seen this earlier……I woke up angry though. Well that might not be true. I went to bed upset, had weird dreams and really didn’t wake up in a good mood. But I could have changed it. I could have choose to work through the situations instead I got upset. I didn’t react to people, I just reacted and it turned a situation that was already tense into a tenser situation. And you know what the reason why I got upset ended up being okay in the end.

I've always been a reactor although over time I've gotten a lot better. As I've gotten older I've yearned to be that quite little woman that didn't speak her mind, show her emotions, etc. Nope not me. I'm opinionated, aggressive, passionate, you name it. But I have found myself lately, waiting. Not always but more and more. Waiting and silent. Its new for me and even I'm shocked by it.

Like Saturday at Emily's band contest, typically I would be all over every where butting into conversations being the center. But not Saturday. No I did a lot of standing, watching, listening, reflecting on conversations. I helped when needed but for the most part I was just there. Now I did do my fair of talking but I never really started conversations and never interrupted conversations either. And I liked it. I was calm and relaxed. I was there for my daughter. I got to experience it all instead of being stressed over a conversation or this or that.

And even today as I look back on yeseterdays events and even when our dog ate Emily's band shoes, she was calm. Not to say she doesn't get worked up either. She was calm. And I so admire her for that. I should have taken a lesson from her and remained calm. To take the scripture as is. Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. And may be I wouldn't be so stressed. I so want to be less stressed about situations.

I want to learn how to use my passion for the better. To have words to share with meaning in good and bad situations. And I know starting the day with the good book can help with that immensely. I should have checked my email on my phone first to get my scripture. I should have......

And I should have posted this yesterday, slacker!