Wednesday, August 20, 2014

A leap of faith in time

I saw a hummingbird out my office window this morning. I watched it while I was on the phone with my boss. Trying to hold the office phone, juggle my cell phone (so I of course could take a picture) and raise my blinds….but alas I didn’t capture it. He was a beautiful green little hummingbird. But it made me smile. It made me think that everything is going to be okay. That while we might have expenses we weren’t expecting and less hours at jobs, we have plenty to be thankful for. Watching my little green friend made me celebrate the success of today and not worry about the stresses of tomorrow. To think that God created such a little creature that can bring a smile to anyone’s face when they see one. It is a random creature in this big world. Which is how I feel today, random.

What if you knew you weren’t doing what you are supposed to be doing. But changing is difficult and the unknown is scary. So what do you do?

I’ve got that feeling. I feel like I have a message to share, to spread to the world like a raging wildfire. So what do I do? How do I go about it?

Some may say that I need to pray, to ask God for direction. I’m not a good prayer but I’ve been told no one is. I’ve prayed to God before about direction. Show me the way, Lord. But maybe I’m too impatient like most, I want instant answers. But I imagine God doing just like I do with my own kids, “patience my dear”, “just a minute”. And to God what is time? When will I get my answers?

I have felt this way before. It comes in waves. There are several instances where it stands out. One about 5 years ago. I started simplifying things. Making changes. Which lead me to quit one job and start a new one. Then I got away from my simplification process and decided I needed more once again. Decided I had to hold this or that, rather it be job, position, title etc. And then I get put in my place once again. But I feel unsettled once again. Like the simplification process needs to ramp up, again.

I could just take a leap of faith. I have faith that all things work out like they are supposed to. Sometimes the way we want them to and sometimes not. But in the end they are for the best rather we think they are. Think about it. If some of the things that didn’t work out worked out like YOU wanted them to where would you be now? Hmmm? I know I wouldn’t be in the place I am now. For sure.

Taking a leap of faith is scary. Everyone has to be on board for it or at least those that it will affect the most. But I don’t think the world would be what it is today without those that decided to take that leap of faith. But I have responsibilities too. But maybe my responsibilities need to have priories placed on them. Are there things I could change? Absolutely. I have already started making some changes. But I know there are more changes I could make. And just maybe amongst those changes, reality could take over and the answer would appear. In time.

I had a dream not too long ago, when I was having a period of time that I felt unsettled. I don’t remember the dream except for what woke me up. In a whisper I heard, be still. Go ahead have goose bumps. I felt so strange after that. And it hasn’t left my mind. Be still. It’s hard. But maybe if I take the time to be still I will find the answers I need. In time. 

For now, I will live purposefully. I will listen to the wind, feel the sun on my face, watch for my friend the hummingbird and I will try to marvel at God’s beauty in everything.

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