Friday, May 25, 2012

A journey to peace

I’m a talker, shocker I know. I’m very animated with my hands and body when I do talk. Let’s just say I’m a mover talker or talker mover, whatever. Our son has ADHD and we have been having a rough patch lately trying to figure out what is going on. But as I was explaining to my girlfriend last night the trials and tribulations we were having and even this morning when I was talking with a co-worker… he getting it naturally. I often over speak to people, meaning I talk right over them, finish their sentences. To some they deal with it because they are much the same but to others it is offensive or irritating to them. My hubby would fall into the latter category. Anyway, a thought popped in my head as I was conversing that the poor kid comes by it naturally really because sometimes I talk so fast, go off on bunny tangent trails, interrupt to make sure I don’t forget the thought, etc. that even I am exhausted from the conversation afterwards. Most days lately, that I’m going 90 mph in 100 different directions, spinning my wheels at the same time getting nothing done or accomplished, even being forgetful at times. It is starting to affect everything. I’m trying to find my peace with everything. I’m trying to give everything over to God because like many I pick and choose what I want God to have control over. Sound familiar? The one thing that I want most in life….is peace, peace within and peace on the outside.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are trials and tribulations that everyone faces. You don’t say if they will happen but when they happen. Or at least in my life I do. But what I want is to be able to go okay we will deal with it, and for the most part I typically do. It might be tearful statement but in my heart I truly feel everything will work out. I just want to know when or how or both. Doesn’t always happen that way you know?
You are probably wondering what any of this has to do with anything or with the name of my blog for that matter. Well I need to do some soul searching so to speak. At the beginning of the year I decided that this year was going to be a year of soul searching. A year to find myself again, to find what is important in my life and rid myself of those things that aren’t important or may be just prioritize them differently. I haven’t been as thorough with this as I should. I lack a lot of discipline in some areas and I’m a pretty disciplined person so that bugs me. I want to be better. I need to be better not only for myself, but for my family as well. You know if Momma ain’t happy no one is happy.

So this weekend I’m going to do some reflecting, some praying and some planning. I know there will be some things that will be a process and there will be things that I can change now. But I’m on a journey and for at least the moment it brings me peace.

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